How to Deal with the Loss of a Loved One?
Every alternate day we come across news of suicides. The reason varies but the pain to deal with the loss of a loved one is intact! There are several ways to deal with stress, anxiety, or depression when you are broken, but ending one’s life is never a solution. But then, this is easier said than done!
Only the one who goes through such mental traumas realize how easy it feels to actually end a life than live it! But do they realize how their loved ones will deal with the loss? While no one knows what happens to the ones who die, the ones who are left behind surely suffer a lot!
So, I request the ones who are reading this article that ending your life might end your life traumas but it will only increase the traumas for your loved ones whom you are leaving behind. Do not commit suicide at any given point, seek help, cry out loud, move out to an undisclosed location and do whatever it takes to pass on that moment but please stay alive, trust me “this too shall pass” is not just a phrase, it actually works!
Now, coming to the ones who have dealt with such losses in their lifetime…
If you are someone who has lost your loved one, either by suicide or natural death, it might have been very difficult for you to deal with that loss! Sometimes it is not just about the physical loss only, you might have lost someone who was once very dear to you but he/she is not physically present with you for any xyz reason, but it hurts anyway even if they are alive!
The loss of a loved one cannot be categorized! Whether they are dead or alive, when you lose a loved one, no consolation ever works and it’s true! That is why I am here to help you find ways as to how to deal with the loss of a loved one and yet not feel lost yourself! Keep reading to know more…
Give yourself the required time, that’s very important!
“Time heals every wound”, “what happens, happens for good”, all these phrases might not make sense to you when you lose a loved one but you need to remind yourself every day that the pain will actually gradually decrease. This is the law of nature; you tend to forget the pain of losing a loved one with time.
But that does not mean the feeling that you have for them also decreases. Did not SRK already say “MUJHE SABA SE PYAR KARNE KE LIYE SABA KI HI ZARURAT NAHI HAI” ..????? This line from the movie Ae Dil Hai Mushkil only meant that you do not need someone’s physical presence to always love or feel them!
It is all about what your heart feels for the person, no matter whether they are alive or dead, your feelings or love for them should still be intact! When you get through this, you feel better!
Pray for them, it’s powerful!
Another way of dealing with the loss of a loved one is praying well for them! Again, no matter whether your loved one is dead or alive, prayers have the power to move mountains.
You can pray for them regularly, wish for their good health and happiness if they are alive, and wish for a better hereafter if they are dead. This way you will feel peace at heart that no wonder where they are, the love and feeling you have for them will keep them in a better place.
Make praying for them a habit. Do it daily, even if it is for just about five minutes. This will definitely keep your heart at peace. After all, we all want our loved ones to be in a better place, don’t we?
Take a trip down memory lane or otherwise…
Sometimes, the loss of a loved one might be one-sided. It means that you might have loved him/her way too much but that person never had any such feelings for you. In such instances, the loss of them is mostly painful but that is always a blessing in disguise.
If that person was toxic in any way or if the parting was very disturbing then DO NOT GO DOWN MEMORY LANE! The memories will only haunt you more! Try to discard any memory you had of that person and start afresh! Alternatively, if you had very fond memories of that person or you spent many good times together or you have certain things that remind you of them in the best possible ways, always try to find a way to relive those memories.
For example, if you lost your partner with whom you had many great memories of traveling or eating together at your favorite place then try to go to those places again to feel those memories again. This will soothe your soul for sure.
Remember, they also want to see you happy and in a better place!
Sometimes in all our thoughts and feelings of losing a loved one, we tend to forget that we were also dear to them! And no matter where they are, dead or alive, they might also be craving to see us happy in all conditions! And that is why you must focus on your happiness too! Then again, it is always better said than done! So, take one step at a time!
Work on your physical and mental health simultaneously to keep yourself healthy and happy even if your heart aches for the one whom you loved dearly. Keep reminding yourself that if he/she was present, how would he/she would have liked to see you! Be it achieving your life goals or trying to be a better human being every day, you always have scope for growth.
And the one who is dear to you will always love to see a brighter and more positive side of you! So, do things that might have made your Dadda or Mamma proud, if you have lost them, it will make you feel relieved and they will smile right back at you from up there!
The final takeaway…
Losing a loved one is always an irreparable loss! No matter what better things happen in your life or how good people you come across, the one who was dear to you will always leave a void once they are gone!
You might not have “that one person” to go running to when you get back home after a long tiring day at your workplace, you might not be able to get a hug from “that one person” when you are at your lowest or you might not be able to just call “that one person” when you have achieved the most desired goal of your life when you lose your “that loved one” but you must always remember that no matter what, losing yourself while dealing with the loss is never a solution.
You must build yourself up after the loss, so that one day, if and when you reunite again (in the hereafter hopefully) “that one person” give you a bear hug and say I AM PROUD OF THE PERSON THAT YOU HAVE BECOME AFTER I LEFT YOU! Keep working on yourself, you will surely succeed!
In my late 20s, I am passionate about writing, exploring ideas, appreciating the good, and surviving the bad. I believe in healing from things that do not show scars and thrive to help others heal too! I am also a practicing psychological counselor! Be with me on my journey towards Enriching Minds and Comforting Souls!